A recent Pew Internet survey shows that 20% of Americans don't use the Internet. The same survey also shows that 19% of American adults own tablet computers. Twenty percent looks like a bigger number than nineteen percent. But when did you last hear from a librarian about the importance of reaching out to their member anti-netters?
Yet many libraries will devote larger portions of their limited resources toward "engaging" with those mobile users while trimming the budgets for supporting the resources preferred by the non-internetters.
I guess it's like putting your parent in a retirement home. At some point, you just have to tell dad he can't live alone anymore. And he can't come live with you. He's going to become someone else's problem from now on.
So we allow this caste system to continue. In America.
Yes, the problem is mainly from old people. And in a generation, they'll all be dead and we'll have 99% of Americans online.
But some day, you'll also be old. And then they'll be some new technology that you won't be able to afford or care about. And you'll be part of some 20% that the librariandroid (yeah, isn't it awesome how everything sounds futuristic when you add "droid" or "bot" or "cyber" to it? I wonder what the futuristic words will be in the future?) won't want to deal with when you can't get your 3rd-grade memories uploaded to Facebook and she complains, "Really? Again?"
Whenever a librarian sees that any area of their local population is under-served, she should ask, "How can I fix this?" But that librariandroid is a total bitch, isn't she?
Monday, April 23, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
WHAT THEY SHOULDA DONE: Game of Thrones
I understand that someone has probably already proposed this, but this is what they should have done on the HBO television show Game of Thrones:
When Daenerys Targaryen was given the wedding gift of the three dragon eggs, they should have been eggs from the movie Alien.
Then later, when Drogo was in his comatose state, she could have put the eggs with him, the witch (Mirri) and herself. And as the eggs hatched to release the "facehuggers," they would attach to each of the three characters.
Then at the final scene of Season 1, the first two Alien would burst from Drogo and the witch's chests and crawl over to Daenerys just as her chest explodes. And as her Alien creature emerges from her chest, she cries out, "It's a Queen. I am The Queen!"
So the dragons in Game of Thrones would be Alien creatures and whichever army has them would be considered invincible. But since we know that these creatures can't be controlled, the rest of the series would have been very short. And a total bloodbath.
That's what they shoulda done.
When Daenerys Targaryen was given the wedding gift of the three dragon eggs, they should have been eggs from the movie Alien.
Then later, when Drogo was in his comatose state, she could have put the eggs with him, the witch (Mirri) and herself. And as the eggs hatched to release the "facehuggers," they would attach to each of the three characters.
Then at the final scene of Season 1, the first two Alien would burst from Drogo and the witch's chests and crawl over to Daenerys just as her chest explodes. And as her Alien creature emerges from her chest, she cries out, "It's a Queen. I am The Queen!"
So the dragons in Game of Thrones would be Alien creatures and whichever army has them would be considered invincible. But since we know that these creatures can't be controlled, the rest of the series would have been very short. And a total bloodbath.
That's what they shoulda done.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I don't exist.
In the digital world, nothing has shape. nothing has permanence. Nothing has value. Money changes hands, surely. But money always changes hands.
How many digital files do you own? With how many have you interacted recently? How many songs or photos sit on some drive somewhere collecting the digital equivalent of cobwebs, their electrons trying to maintain order, to maintain bonds and fighting against inevitable dispersal. Would you notice if some were lost?
In every generation prior whatever the most recent two are, people collected objects. Some were photos. They held those photos as precious. They were memory; they were family; they were part of their lives.
Some of those objects were books.
But now we have files. And I don't know anyone who prints out photos, anymore. I haven't for 6 years. Without some form of computer, the last six years of my life don't even exist.
Yes, all my files are on a computer or online, somewhere. But without permission, a password, most of them remain hidden. I try to store some of my stuff under "effinglibrarian" accounts, but I have lots of accounts under various usernames. If I were to bump my head and develop amnesia or die, would anyone ever learn who I was? I don't have scrapbooks with photos of my trips to ... see? I can't even rememeber without finding the folders with the files.
Without account names and passwords, there is nothing to find. I will disappear.
Physical objects are a burden. Books are a burden. And we only have towns and cities because of our burdens. In the old days, people walked until they got tired, then when enough people got tired in the same place, someone put up a shop or a shrine. And that's why we have cities. Without your burdens, you just wander as nomads. The internet is turning us into nomads.
A printed book never judges you back. It's static; it can't. But an ebook can, and will. An ebook will tell you whether you read too slowly or too quickly. An ebook might make you reread something until it's convinced you got it. An ebook will compare you to others who have read it. If you need to look up a word, the dictionary will tell you that only 4% of other readers needed to look that up: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Every footprint you leave online is something said for or against your nature. Every statement, update or comment you make can become corrupted under the unforgiving all-seeing eye of internet trolls and anonymous ridicule.
The internet is changing me. And I don't know who I am becoming. Because I don't have physical objects, I don't have a past. Because I have so many online identities, I don't have a present. And because I don't have anyone to care for my files after I'm gone, I don't have a future. I am nothing.
How many digital files do you own? With how many have you interacted recently? How many songs or photos sit on some drive somewhere collecting the digital equivalent of cobwebs, their electrons trying to maintain order, to maintain bonds and fighting against inevitable dispersal. Would you notice if some were lost?
In every generation prior whatever the most recent two are, people collected objects. Some were photos. They held those photos as precious. They were memory; they were family; they were part of their lives.
Some of those objects were books.
But now we have files. And I don't know anyone who prints out photos, anymore. I haven't for 6 years. Without some form of computer, the last six years of my life don't even exist.
Yes, all my files are on a computer or online, somewhere. But without permission, a password, most of them remain hidden. I try to store some of my stuff under "effinglibrarian" accounts, but I have lots of accounts under various usernames. If I were to bump my head and develop amnesia or die, would anyone ever learn who I was? I don't have scrapbooks with photos of my trips to ... see? I can't even rememeber without finding the folders with the files.
Without account names and passwords, there is nothing to find. I will disappear.
Physical objects are a burden. Books are a burden. And we only have towns and cities because of our burdens. In the old days, people walked until they got tired, then when enough people got tired in the same place, someone put up a shop or a shrine. And that's why we have cities. Without your burdens, you just wander as nomads. The internet is turning us into nomads.
A printed book never judges you back. It's static; it can't. But an ebook can, and will. An ebook will tell you whether you read too slowly or too quickly. An ebook might make you reread something until it's convinced you got it. An ebook will compare you to others who have read it. If you need to look up a word, the dictionary will tell you that only 4% of other readers needed to look that up: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Every footprint you leave online is something said for or against your nature. Every statement, update or comment you make can become corrupted under the unforgiving all-seeing eye of internet trolls and anonymous ridicule.
The internet is changing me. And I don't know who I am becoming. Because I don't have physical objects, I don't have a past. Because I have so many online identities, I don't have a present. And because I don't have anyone to care for my files after I'm gone, I don't have a future. I am nothing.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Unlimited, but not "Unlimited" Unlimited.
From the, "Just because you can, it doesn't mean you should" department.
In the library, product licenses are time-based, or licenses are use-based, or both. And sometimes licenses start out time-based, but as use increases, the publishers add use-based limitations. I'm not going to call them greedy bastards.
But let's assume you're a greedy bastard. If you own something, even an intellectual something, *especially* an intellectual something, you're likely to want to be paid for its use, every single time.
Artists, writers, musicians, computer programmers, all want to be paid each time their works are viewed, read, heard or accessed. Which is the way it ought to be, I guess. If you were a greedy bastard.
But others don't get paid over and over again for the same labor. Teacher don't demand a cut of your salary for teaching you useful information. Chefs don't demand payment when their nutritious meals get you through a productive day. A hooker won't take that bonus you scored because you were so relaxed when you cut that deal.
Intellectual property is different from commodities in that the value of intangible property can't be established by normal means, while consumable goods can have a fair market value. Eggs are a dollar a dozen while watching Titanic can have a value of $8 or $50,000, depending on whether viewing it was done legally or as an infringement on the owner's rights.
This is the same for services. Unlimited access to something is NEVER meant to alter your behavior. Unlimited means that you are allowed "the usual amount" for the average person. But no company calls their service The Usual Amount. These same rules apply to all-you-can-eat buffets. So no filling your plastic bags with shrimp.
That's why some Internet users get pissed when they hit a wall in their data usage. Because they interpreted "unlimited" to mean they can hook their device to every computer and TV in the house and suck bandwidth like... a thing... that sucks... a lot.
I don't know if you remember what it was like before the internet, but THERE WAS CIVILIZATION back then and I lived through it. There was a time when there was no "cloud" storage and library magazine and newspaper databases ran from CDs that you got in the mail. When a library patron wanted to find a newspaper article, you'd load a CD on a computer and search for it. If the patron wanted another article, you'd load another CD. And if you had the money, you'd buy a stack of CDs drives and run the service from the "tower."
And it was a cumbersome load of fuck.
And way back then I wanted to take all the data from all those CDs and copy it to a server and find an interface and host it all on our website. I didn't know if it could be done, but I was willing to give a try.
But I knew that doing so would be a violation of our license. Even back then, without the benefit of the internet, I knew some stuff. So I never did it.
Even now, I look at some of the content we supposedly own, and want to rip it all and keep it because we've paid for it, but I know that our licenses don't allow us to do that. "Stealing" is a word I've heard used. So when I heard that there was a library that was attempting this "sharing," I thought, good luck with that. Because I knew that the data provider wouldn't see it as sharing at all.
Libraries, and everyone, have to learn that if it ain't a cookie or a sandwich or a puppy, you won't own it. You don't own your electronic databases, ebooks, television programs stored on your DVR, streamed music, etc. If it moves over a network as a digital signal, it ain't yours.
I'm sure there's more I can say about this, but I'm afraid I've depressed you enough already. But if it helps, the one piece of advice I can offer is this: if you want to understand how a system works, steal something from it.
In the library, product licenses are time-based, or licenses are use-based, or both. And sometimes licenses start out time-based, but as use increases, the publishers add use-based limitations. I'm not going to call them greedy bastards.
But let's assume you're a greedy bastard. If you own something, even an intellectual something, *especially* an intellectual something, you're likely to want to be paid for its use, every single time.
Artists, writers, musicians, computer programmers, all want to be paid each time their works are viewed, read, heard or accessed. Which is the way it ought to be, I guess. If you were a greedy bastard.
But others don't get paid over and over again for the same labor. Teacher don't demand a cut of your salary for teaching you useful information. Chefs don't demand payment when their nutritious meals get you through a productive day. A hooker won't take that bonus you scored because you were so relaxed when you cut that deal.
Intellectual property is different from commodities in that the value of intangible property can't be established by normal means, while consumable goods can have a fair market value. Eggs are a dollar a dozen while watching Titanic can have a value of $8 or $50,000, depending on whether viewing it was done legally or as an infringement on the owner's rights.
This is the same for services. Unlimited access to something is NEVER meant to alter your behavior. Unlimited means that you are allowed "the usual amount" for the average person. But no company calls their service The Usual Amount. These same rules apply to all-you-can-eat buffets. So no filling your plastic bags with shrimp.
That's why some Internet users get pissed when they hit a wall in their data usage. Because they interpreted "unlimited" to mean they can hook their device to every computer and TV in the house and suck bandwidth like... a thing... that sucks... a lot.
I don't know if you remember what it was like before the internet, but THERE WAS CIVILIZATION back then and I lived through it. There was a time when there was no "cloud" storage and library magazine and newspaper databases ran from CDs that you got in the mail. When a library patron wanted to find a newspaper article, you'd load a CD on a computer and search for it. If the patron wanted another article, you'd load another CD. And if you had the money, you'd buy a stack of CDs drives and run the service from the "tower."
And it was a cumbersome load of fuck.
And way back then I wanted to take all the data from all those CDs and copy it to a server and find an interface and host it all on our website. I didn't know if it could be done, but I was willing to give a try.
But I knew that doing so would be a violation of our license. Even back then, without the benefit of the internet, I knew some stuff. So I never did it.
Even now, I look at some of the content we supposedly own, and want to rip it all and keep it because we've paid for it, but I know that our licenses don't allow us to do that. "Stealing" is a word I've heard used. So when I heard that there was a library that was attempting this "sharing," I thought, good luck with that. Because I knew that the data provider wouldn't see it as sharing at all.
Libraries, and everyone, have to learn that if it ain't a cookie or a sandwich or a puppy, you won't own it. You don't own your electronic databases, ebooks, television programs stored on your DVR, streamed music, etc. If it moves over a network as a digital signal, it ain't yours.
I'm sure there's more I can say about this, but I'm afraid I've depressed you enough already. But if it helps, the one piece of advice I can offer is this: if you want to understand how a system works, steal something from it.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Facebook is the reason you don't have a job.
I've blamed Facebook for the Decline of the American Empire before, but I have an entirely new reason today.
American companies are not hiring because you have too much free time. When companies look at all the time their workers are spending on Facebook, the clearest picture they see is that their employees don't have enough to do. And if the current American workforce can afford to spend hours a day on Facebook, then why should any company create more jobs?
And don't go telling me that Facebook is great because your mom uses it and she's retired, so how could the economy be screwed up because of all the retired people who use it?
Fuck you. 700 million people are using Facebook, so yes, your mom story is a great example to refute my theory. 699,999,999 other people don't matter. Facebook isn't valued at $50 billion because your mom uses it.
If you don't believe me, look at the fucking chart:
Those things don't lie.
But ever since THE INTERNET became a thing, companies have been able to see a much clearer picture of the habits of Americans and it turns out that we don't slave away at making more and more money for our billionaire masters as they think we should.
After all, so few Americans farm their own food. And slightly more than that a few grow weed or cook crank or whatever those magicians do to make illegal drugs. So the rest of us are lucky that anyone is willing to give us any money at all for the little work that we do.
I mean, ask Apple why they took their manufacturing to China and the answer would be "an unlimited supply of cheap labor who will work any time we say, for as long as we require and never takes time off to take their cat to the vet."
Before computers started talking to each other, your boss could only guess at how much time you were wasting while she was providing you with the means to support a home and a family, two cats and a dog.
But now the cat is out of the bag.
Because you had two cats. And you tried to sell one to the butcher by disguising it as a pig. But the butcher knows to never buy a pig in a poke. So he let the cat out of the bag and exposed your fraud.
Let me get off topic for a second because Snopes claims that this explanation is False, simply because the author doesn't believe that anyone would mistake a cat in a sack for a pig. But yet, the author accepts the "pig in a poke" phrase for exactly the same reason, that some unscrupulous merchants would sometimes substitute another animal when you purchased livestock, so you should always look at what you're buying before you conclude your transaction. The author accepts this origin, but doesn't think that what was in the poke/sack/bag would ever be a cat. Definitely not a cute, fluffy little cat. So let me restate, But now the squid is out of the bag.
There is no job that you can have that your boss can't find someone else to do it: better, as well, nearly as well, or with a minimum level of competence, FOR LESS MONEY THAN YOU.
Even in the library, I could FIRE EVERYONE and still provide library services well enough that most of your customers wouldn't care. Volunteers would line up to have SOMETHING TO DO to fill their otherwise wasted time. And some of those people would be very qualified to fill library positions. EVEN FOR NO MONEY. BECAUSE THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF BUILDING A WORKFORCE: if you can fill their most basic needs, there will always be someone to take the job.
I absolutely believe that Americans are about one step away from rounding up people to do a job then killing them before payday. Again. Because we've done this in the past.
I'm always surprised by people who think that since we learned to be civilized, to have civilized society, that it's here to stay. Like you get it and it's with you forever. Like herpes. When civilization is more like genital warts. Civilization will often spontaneously rise up within cultures, but it can be beaten back with a proper applications of ointments. And gunfire.
So Facebookians, stop fucking up this country. Every computer knows every minute you waste and they share that information with each other. Every day you spend screwing around online is another minimum-wage job-that-will-never-be. Each wasted month equals one blue-collar job. And every three months equals one white-collar job that doesn't get budgeted over to HR.
If you really need to kill time, read a book. But not an ebook because they spy on you there, too.
American companies are not hiring because you have too much free time. When companies look at all the time their workers are spending on Facebook, the clearest picture they see is that their employees don't have enough to do. And if the current American workforce can afford to spend hours a day on Facebook, then why should any company create more jobs?
And don't go telling me that Facebook is great because your mom uses it and she's retired, so how could the economy be screwed up because of all the retired people who use it?
Fuck you. 700 million people are using Facebook, so yes, your mom story is a great example to refute my theory. 699,999,999 other people don't matter. Facebook isn't valued at $50 billion because your mom uses it.
If you don't believe me, look at the fucking chart:
Those things don't lie.
But ever since THE INTERNET became a thing, companies have been able to see a much clearer picture of the habits of Americans and it turns out that we don't slave away at making more and more money for our billionaire masters as they think we should.
After all, so few Americans farm their own food. And slightly more than that a few grow weed or cook crank or whatever those magicians do to make illegal drugs. So the rest of us are lucky that anyone is willing to give us any money at all for the little work that we do.
I mean, ask Apple why they took their manufacturing to China and the answer would be "an unlimited supply of cheap labor who will work any time we say, for as long as we require and never takes time off to take their cat to the vet."
Before computers started talking to each other, your boss could only guess at how much time you were wasting while she was providing you with the means to support a home and a family, two cats and a dog.
But now the cat is out of the bag.
Because you had two cats. And you tried to sell one to the butcher by disguising it as a pig. But the butcher knows to never buy a pig in a poke. So he let the cat out of the bag and exposed your fraud.
Let me get off topic for a second because Snopes claims that this explanation is False, simply because the author doesn't believe that anyone would mistake a cat in a sack for a pig. But yet, the author accepts the "pig in a poke" phrase for exactly the same reason, that some unscrupulous merchants would sometimes substitute another animal when you purchased livestock, so you should always look at what you're buying before you conclude your transaction. The author accepts this origin, but doesn't think that what was in the poke/sack/bag would ever be a cat. Definitely not a cute, fluffy little cat. So let me restate, But now the squid is out of the bag.
There is no job that you can have that your boss can't find someone else to do it: better, as well, nearly as well, or with a minimum level of competence, FOR LESS MONEY THAN YOU.
Even in the library, I could FIRE EVERYONE and still provide library services well enough that most of your customers wouldn't care. Volunteers would line up to have SOMETHING TO DO to fill their otherwise wasted time. And some of those people would be very qualified to fill library positions. EVEN FOR NO MONEY. BECAUSE THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF BUILDING A WORKFORCE: if you can fill their most basic needs, there will always be someone to take the job.
I absolutely believe that Americans are about one step away from rounding up people to do a job then killing them before payday. Again. Because we've done this in the past.
I'm always surprised by people who think that since we learned to be civilized, to have civilized society, that it's here to stay. Like you get it and it's with you forever. Like herpes. When civilization is more like genital warts. Civilization will often spontaneously rise up within cultures, but it can be beaten back with a proper applications of ointments. And gunfire.
So Facebookians, stop fucking up this country. Every computer knows every minute you waste and they share that information with each other. Every day you spend screwing around online is another minimum-wage job-that-will-never-be. Each wasted month equals one blue-collar job. And every three months equals one white-collar job that doesn't get budgeted over to HR.
If you really need to kill time, read a book. But not an ebook because they spy on you there, too.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Identity Dilemma.
I'm at the point where the digital status of my real self is gaining on the digital status of my fake self.
Yet my fake self is still way ahead in popularity.
The problem that comes from this is that I often have professional questions to ask where I could use some feedback. If I use my fake identity to ask it on Twitter (this identity), more people will see the question and someone might answer. But I probably won't get the answer I need because this identity is fake. And people don't seem to want to waste brain power answering to a fake person.
But if I ask on my real account, hardly anyone replies and the question languishes like some lost message in a bottle, waiting to be freed. But the question will be taken seriously, eventually.
So I never know what to do. I can't ask the same question in both accounts because someone might actually notice and then my pseudonymity will be lost.
All I can ask is that if you see a question from a librarian asking for your opinion on some professional library stuff, it could be me. SO ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.
Yet my fake self is still way ahead in popularity.
The problem that comes from this is that I often have professional questions to ask where I could use some feedback. If I use my fake identity to ask it on Twitter (this identity), more people will see the question and someone might answer. But I probably won't get the answer I need because this identity is fake. And people don't seem to want to waste brain power answering to a fake person.
But if I ask on my real account, hardly anyone replies and the question languishes like some lost message in a bottle, waiting to be freed. But the question will be taken seriously, eventually.
So I never know what to do. I can't ask the same question in both accounts because someone might actually notice and then my pseudonymity will be lost.
All I can ask is that if you see a question from a librarian asking for your opinion on some professional library stuff, it could be me. SO ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION.
Friday, March 30, 2012
"Thanks, but no, thanks." What the Rich never say when given the chance to name something.
Not that it matters to you, but the City of West Palm Beach Public Library recently traded its identity to the Mandel Foundation for $5 million.
But here's why it should matter to you:
I oppose any selling of public libraries to for-profit or non-profit entities when that sale requires the library to change its name.
The (former) City library has about a $3,900,000 budget for 2012. So that $5 million donation covers a little over a year of taxpayer money. I mean, city taxpayers cough up $4 million each year, yet they don't get to keep the name of their library. Someone offers one million more and he gets the library. (But maybe I'm reading the budget wrong; "Report Totals $3,888,274". That could be for something else. I'm not good with numbers.)
If you believe that public libraries exist as a part of the community, as physical and cultural landmarks that support and represent the local residents, then you should get a little pissed off when someone with a big bag of money swoops in and steals that local ownership.
No, this isn't a joke. I might cough up the 10k just so I can name the staff lounge, "Get Your Lazy Ass Back to Work."
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CALL SOMETHING A GIFT IF A REQUIREMENT IS THAT YOU GET TO CHANGE THE NAME.
Gift = no obligation. So this is not a gift.
And maybe you've heard, but the New York Public Library has become the Stephen A. Schwarzman Library. Because a rich guy named Stephen A. Schwarzman had a spare $100 million burning a hole in his pocket. And all the hospitals were already taken.
Money is only paper, but a book is the soul. Or paper, too. I just made that up, so the concept is still a little fuzzy.
I don't know anything about Schwarzman; he could be a nice guy. He could be an obsessive My Little Pony collector, or eats spaghetti with his fingers, or a bad tipper. I don't know, but it doesn't matter. His name does not belong on the library.
What if the library got one of these different sponsors?
Where are the rich individuals who want to help out without taking credit? Why did they need to change the name of the library? And how much is this going to cost?
The (former) West Palm Beach Public Library has about 100,000 cardholders. So they need to replace those cards with ones with the new name? What is that, about fifty cents each? What else do they need to replace? Everything?
The (former) West Palm Beach Public Library owns the domain wpbpl.com, which I guess is now worthless to them. They also own mycitylibrary.org which is now just a joke since the library is NOT your city library, but the Mandel Library That Your Taxes Pay to Support.
Really, why can't some rich person Just Say No? Say, "Here is some money. Maybe you can put a little plaque over here on the wall by the restrooms. But no pressure. I just want to help."
But here's why it should matter to you:
I oppose any selling of public libraries to for-profit or non-profit entities when that sale requires the library to change its name.
The (former) City library has about a $3,900,000 budget for 2012. So that $5 million donation covers a little over a year of taxpayer money. I mean, city taxpayers cough up $4 million each year, yet they don't get to keep the name of their library. Someone offers one million more and he gets the library. (But maybe I'm reading the budget wrong; "Report Totals $3,888,274". That could be for something else. I'm not good with numbers.)
If you believe that public libraries exist as a part of the community, as physical and cultural landmarks that support and represent the local residents, then you should get a little pissed off when someone with a big bag of money swoops in and steals that local ownership.
"The West Palm Beach Library Foundation, which seeks grants and large donations for the library, is offering library naming rights.--- from somewhere, google it.
The library can be named in your honor for a $5 million donation. For half that amount, the children's library on the third floor can bear your name.
For as low as $10,000, you can name the foundation office, staff lounge, study rooms or assistant director's office, with plenty of naming rights available for various donation levels."
No, this isn't a joke. I might cough up the 10k just so I can name the staff lounge, "Get Your Lazy Ass Back to Work."
"The gift to the West Palm Beach Library Foundation will be awarded in the form of a grant, ... With this significant and notable gift, the West Palm Beach Library will be renamed in perpetuity, as the 'Mandel Public Library of West Palm Beach'."--- somewhere else.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CALL SOMETHING A GIFT IF A REQUIREMENT IS THAT YOU GET TO CHANGE THE NAME.
Gift = no obligation. So this is not a gift.
And maybe you've heard, but the New York Public Library has become the Stephen A. Schwarzman Library. Because a rich guy named Stephen A. Schwarzman had a spare $100 million burning a hole in his pocket. And all the hospitals were already taken.
Money is only paper, but a book is the soul. Or paper, too. I just made that up, so the concept is still a little fuzzy.
I don't know anything about Schwarzman; he could be a nice guy. He could be an obsessive My Little Pony collector, or eats spaghetti with his fingers, or a bad tipper. I don't know, but it doesn't matter. His name does not belong on the library.
What if the library got one of these different sponsors?
- The Lysol Automatic Toilet Bowl Cleaner Public Library.
- The I'm Lovin' It, McDonald's McCafe and Public Library.
- The Halliburton Energy Services Group Petroleum and Natural Gas Earth-raping Public Library.
- The RealTouch Teledildonics Remote Sex Hook-up Public Library.
- The Tea Party Public Library... Is Closed to Illegals Public Library.
Where are the rich individuals who want to help out without taking credit? Why did they need to change the name of the library? And how much is this going to cost?
The (former) West Palm Beach Public Library has about 100,000 cardholders. So they need to replace those cards with ones with the new name? What is that, about fifty cents each? What else do they need to replace? Everything?
The (former) West Palm Beach Public Library owns the domain wpbpl.com, which I guess is now worthless to them. They also own mycitylibrary.org which is now just a joke since the library is NOT your city library, but the Mandel Library That Your Taxes Pay to Support.
Really, why can't some rich person Just Say No? Say, "Here is some money. Maybe you can put a little plaque over here on the wall by the restrooms. But no pressure. I just want to help."
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