The Dark Side of Pinterest.

I'm one of those people who always asks, What's in it for THEM? whenever a new, "free" online service becomes hot.

We all know What's in it for Google when we search. THEM build databases from our searches and then sell ads based on the popularity and value of keywords and search results. And if we use Gmail, then Google sends us ads based on the keywords used in our emails. Which is why I've curbed my use of the word, dildo.

We know What's in it for Facebook. THEM give you a place to hang out while you're supposed to be looking for a job.

And in exchange for wasting all your free time there, THEM get to see who and what and why you exist. THEM get all your personal data, your online life and sell it to everyone. THEM get your soul.

Now some people, assholes we call them, say that you are just trading this information for being able to use these free services. But this is the part that makes them assholes; if the services were free, then I shouldn't need to give anyone anything. Asshole.

So these free services are not free and since we never know just what they are taking from us in exchange for our using them, we can never truly understand just how much we have given away. What is your personal information worth? Is it worth five hours growing fake crops? Is it worth looking at a dozen photos of your junior high best friend's new baby?

And so when Pinterest came along, I also asked, What's in it for THEM? when I upload and pin photos of items of things I want or like or might buy?

My first thought, which was completely wrong, was that companies wouldn't want all of us pinning the photos of their products to some other website when they really want us to visit their website to view those products. And now I know that's not even a little bit right. Like if I saw some lingerie at Anthropolgie that I liked, which I often do, and I pinned it on a Pinterest board, wouldn't Anthropologie get mad? The answer is No. (Whoops, but it looks like some people don't appreciate having their content pinned.)

When you create a board on Pinterest and pin items to it, those links actually benefit the companies where you pin. Think of it this way: if you're Store X and have some products on your website, the only way to for anyone to see them is to visit your online store. Or if you're lucky, have your product appear in a Google or Yahoo shopping or NexTag or PriceGrabber or whatever search. But what if you had your own tiny little army of soldiers who would make tiny little stores on Pinterest where all your coolest stuff were on display? Wouldn't that be awesome?

So if I'm Store X and my buyers fill my store with stuff, I need to advertise it if I want it sold. And advertising isn't cheap. If my Pinterest Army made boards and pinned only my best stuff, then I would have another outlet for my products. It's like, maybe an Elle or Vogue magazine page where they group all the white dresses and white accessories together or all the hats. But this is a live page with links to actual items you can buy and not some sheet of paper that just says, Jimmy Choo sandals, $450. I can click on the image and buy it now!

Let's say you want to find that black and white stripe sailor bikini you just saw Taylor Swift wearing in that photo the other day and you find a Hurley or Juicy Couture style that looks just like it? If you Pin It and describe it as the Taylor Swift bikini, you're probably going to get hundreds if not thousands of "likes" or "repins" for it and more than a few sales. And I'm betting that Juicy can't legally call their bikini, the Taylor Swift, without suffering some legal bungholery. But you can pin it and name it and it's all legal. Even if you're a Juicy employee or work for the store that sells it.

In fact, Pinterest has a whole section devoted to shopping for Gifts. Who'da thunk?

So if you are Store X, how do you reward your Pinterest Army? Do you reward just one person, the General? Or do you not reward all the soldiers? And if you're a soldier, what do you get out of all the time you spend pinning?

I never think my time is worth nothing. Because I went to college. Three times.

So now when I see items on Pinterest, I think, What motivates that person to pin? Is this someone working for Store X or promoting their friend's stuff on Etsy? Is this their job? Am I being manipulated?

But I'm guessing some of you don't care. Because those earrings are gorgeous.

FREEDOM shouldn't be a CRIME.

FILE STRIPPING is not PORN.

But DRM STRIPPING is going to become the biggest thing on the internet. Not as big as porn, but still. BIG. Why is it BIG? Because file stripping equals freedom. The freedom to lend an ebook to your friend.

This is because as the growth in ebook demand continues to increase, access to legitimately free ebooks is decreasing. The reason is that the Big Six publishers are fucking stupid. If you want to borrow an ebook from one of the Big Six, your ability to get it from the library is down to almost zero.

Of the B6:

1. Random House reportedly just raised their ebook prices to libraries by a million per cent. Or it might as well be, since we ain't gonna fucking pay it.
2. Penguin cut sales to libraries altogether.
3. HarperCollins limits how many times an ebook can circulate before the library needs to buy another copy, so we don't shop there, either.
4. Macmillan doesn't sell to libraries.
5. Simon & Schuster doesn't.
6. Hachette don't neither.

If you don't know what means, the current NYT bestseller for fiction is Private Games by James Patterson and Mark Sullivan which is published by Hachette. So libraries won't get it. Kill Shot by Vince Flynn from Simon & Schuster is #2. And The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice is from Random House. Do I need to go on? We won't be getting any of these books for our patrons to borrow to for their ereaders or mobile devices.

Now, what happens when you take all the ereader and tablet and laptop users who have been behaving like good citizens by borrowing their ebooks from the library and you cut off their legal supply? They're going to get their fixes from the Dark Side of the internet. Or from each other.

Hey, Marge, Carol says, I just got Blah, blah blah, on my reader, do you want a copy?

Oh, I get my books from the library, Carol replies.

Not any more, Marge declares. The library can't buy any new books. The only way you're getting a copy is to buy one. Or not buy one.

Fuckity fuck! Carol curses because she's a regular library user. And then she says with a wink, Can I not buy one from you?

Ebook lending between individuals is going to explode when the legitimate supply dries up. When publishers remove the library from the supply channel, this flow of goods will just find a new route. And it ain't gonna mean more money for publishers.

Yes, I know all these people are going to steal the books, anyway. Libraries can't possibly satisfy the reading wants for 25 million people even when we are able to buy all the ebooks we want.

So why don't the B6 publishers care? Dunno.

Maybe they have a backup plan. Maybe they plan to sue Carol and Marge for $500,000 for each ebook they lend to each other. But how would they know?

Maybe the ereader knows? I mean, can an ereader tell which book you're reading by comparing the screen displays from a legal copy of a book and an illegal, stripped one? Even if you removed all the identifying markers from an ebook, the text is still the same; page 20 is page 20. Can an ereader detect which pixel configuration belongs to each book just by scanning the layout of page 20? And then determining that your copy was stolen? Again, dunno.

But what are library users to do when publishers make them criminals by removing this important legal access channel? Vive la libération!

and yes, I understand you can lend some ebooks to your friends, within limits, which can change, without notice... and if you've used it, how does Booklending work? it just uses the Amazon rules to allow you to lend a book to a stranger?

How can YOU use Pinterest?

I've seen a lot of articles on how I can use Pinterest in my library. Or in my life.

Here are some awesome ideas for using Pinterest in your library:

1. Create a boards for new books that your library has received within the past few weeks or months.
2. Create boards to promote activities or programs with links to learn more and pictures of the activity or program.
3. Create boards for each one of your major collections and share the most popular items as pins.
4. Create boards with pins for your library displays or rare collections.
5. Create boards with pins to promote your movies and other media.
6. Share your boards on your library facebook and twitter.

Okay, I could say, but I've already done all that on our website. And on our Facebook page. And our Flickr page. But now you want me to do it again with a new social networking site? I've already done all this work at least twice. And now I need to do it again? Because this is the new 'big thing'? Says who?

Or I could say that I don't do any of that. And I don't need to do that.

I don't have a bulletin board in my office or in my house. I don't have a photo album. I don't scrapbook. I have one photograph on my refrigerator and it's of my dog. Her name is Pete.

I haven't remodeled my kitchen since it was modeled when the house was built. The walls are lemon yellow. I don't dream of my dream house and scan the world for pictures of what it will be.

I have two pairs of shoes, one black, one brown. All my socks are white athletic tube socks and I have one pair of black socks for when I'll get married or when I'm buried. I don't need to collect images of clothes to share with others.

So, do you need Pinterest? Or is this another example of a Thneed?

You NEED Pinterest. YOU should FIND A WAY TO USE IT. NOW.

It's like when all these people come into our computer classes and ask what computer or tablet or ereader to buy to buy. The first thing I ask is What do you want to do with it? Oh, I need a computer, the people often say.

Why? What do you want to do that you need that thing? Oh, you'll find a need for it after you buy it? Since when? Tell that to the food processor I bought that made one meal. Or the digital camera that sits in the underwear drawer. Or the bicycle collecting cobwebs in the garage. Or the books left unopened on table. You can't buy something because you think that buying it will encourage you to use it. If you run around your neighborhood and think that biking would be better, then get a bike. But if you buy a bike only to find out that all the dogs on the block chase you when you ride, then you didn't do your homework.

We always find new ways to manufacture new needs for new stuff.

I'm not arguing against the uses of Pinterest for people who like to share stuff and have everyone comment on the importance of that stuff. But in the past, I've just saved all the images of this stuff on my computer in folders that only I see. I didn't need the world's approval.

So if you see a need for using Pinterest, then create some boards. I did. But I got bored immediately. Because it's not for me. Although now I feel like I have a desire to organize images of scabs and I might make a board for it. Or maybe separate boards for scabs on knees and scabs on elbows. And one for people blowing their noses. Oh, God, I really need Pinterest.

The Slit Heard Round the World

Internet, you're an asshole.

I can't believe that you think that Angelina Jolie didn't get the joke of her leg. Really? Did you see her? She actually thrusts it out in an obvious display and you don't realize that she is aware of the humor?

If Will Farrell did it, you'd laugh your ass off because he's hilarious and no one would mock him for thinking he was behaving stupidly. Because it was a joke.

But yet, you can't see the joke when Angelina does it?

You can't see it? No, you didn't see it. Look, again. Come, on. You know that when she saw that dress and that slit she said, "This slit demands that I show my leg. So I'm going to show my leg. I must bow to the will of the dress."

I didn't think you needed this lesson. But clearly, you didn't get it. It was bad enough when that bald asshole made fun of her when he was on stage for his award, but when you, the internet, spent the entire next day oblivious to it and Photoshopping the leg into fucking everything. It just proved that you did not get it.

You didn't give her credit for being able to pull off that gag. You let Sasha Baron Cohen do it. He could do spill dead dictator on Ryan Seacrest and you'd laugh till you peed.

I know for a fact that someone is going to put that same dress in a movie and use that same gag and say, "I must bow to the will of the dress" and you're going to shit yourself. Let's see when they do it in Bridesmaids 2.

So fuck you, internet because you wouldn't know a joke when it's protruding from a Versace gown and staring you right in the face.

And why am I so upset? Because I tell jokes all the time that you never get.

Each and every ebook costs $99.

I hadn't read the recent Cracked article on ebooks, but I just did and now I understand that every ebook you buy costs you $99. Or $79. Or whatever it was you paid for your ereader.

And this is what told me: #7. You Need Physical Books for Physical Tasks

One of the reasons they say that physical books are better than ebooks is for when you need a physical object. And this is the key. A book is a physical object. And an ereader is a physical object. It doesn't matter that it holds 3,000 ebooks; it's still one object.

If you have a portable ereader or an iPad or a smart phone or even a laptop, then each and every ebook you put on that device costs as much as the device.

There is no way to average out the cost of all your books when you drop your reader in the toilet. You don't pay 3 cents to Amazon or Barnes & Noble each time you open a book. You pay $79 or $99 or $199 up front and it's up to you to find the most cost-effective way to use the thing.

You can get print books and each one of those costs exactly what you pay for it, ten cents or two-hundred dollars. And you make decisions on how and where and to whom to lend or when to read those books. And each individual physical book has its own worth.

But if you get mad and throw your ebook at someone: $99.
If you use your ebook to shelter your new haircut from the rain: $99.
If you use your ebook to keep the table from wobbling: $99.
If you repurpose your ebook as a Christmas tree ornament: $99.
If you hollow out your ebook to use as a bong: $99.
If Neil Gaiman scribbles his autograph across your ebook screen in Sharpie: $99.
If you write your phone number on the corner of your ebook and tear it off: $99.

Because you still have to replace the device no matter how many books it held.

So don't try to trick yourself into thinking that the device gets cheaper with each book you load on it. It doesn't. You're just bad at math.

... and other BAD IDEAS libraries have had

These are some BAD IDEAS that librarians have had. And I'll start with ebooks. Because I know you love them.

Fact: ebooks are a bad idea. For everyone.

ebooks are bad because of our 21st Century sense of entitlement. The internet has changed how we feel about everything. Meaning that we've become thieves and any legitimate deal that doesn't support our criminal nature is a bad one. Have you ever downloaded a song that you should have paid for? Ripped a CD? DVD? Stripped DRM? Then I'm speaking to you, hoodlum.

We, meaning you, are a generation who feels that if we can do something, we should do it. And computers make much of this really easy. It used to be that only the rich had the power to exploit the labors of others, but thanks to the internet, we can all do it.

But we don't have that control with ebooks.

So let's compare an ebook to a (printed/paper) pbook:

ebooks

1. leased, never owned
2. some publishers won't sell to libraries
   
3. online storage and access is expensive
4. must lease new copy when the original reaches its lending limit
5. patrons can’t donate used copies to library
6. can’t trade or sell excess copies
7. no free prepubs
8. seemingly no staff time required for reshelving, repairing, labeling
9. lots of staff time spent on instruction
   
10. no Dewey
11. no need to dispose of anything since you don't own anything to begin with
12. TSA will stop you and check your ereader to make sure it's not a bomb

pbooks

1. purchased outright, but often leased
2. we buy what we want
   
3. brick and mortar storage and access is expensive
   
4. must purchase new copy when the original reaches its maximum damage limit
5. can accept some donations for collection and most donations for “book sale” shelf
6. can do whatever the hell we want with excess copies
7. boxes of prepubs no one will ever read
8. lots of staff time for shelving
   
9. all reading levels are welcome
   
10. some Dewey required
11. endless used book sales
12. a hollowed-out dictionary is a great place to hide a gun

Hmm. There's no clear winner, there, is there? Not a winner based on this simple comparison, but probably a winner if you gave each answer a point value. And that's the key; librarians give 1,000 points to Ownership and Control and then give maybe 5 points to Ability to sell unneeded copies.

We want electronic books to behave exactly like print books. We want the control we have over print, but without all the hassle of print. So ebooks are bad for librarians because we really don't know how to make them work for us in the library. Even though there are many other things we pay for but down own. Here other things we lease that most librarians don’t think of as bad ideas: buildings. online resources. computer hardware. software licenses. copiers. internet access.

So it really just comes down to convenience. ebooks are a convenient format for some people, but a pretty big pain in the ass for libraries to manage. Yet you love them. You must be a cat person.

And now here is a mix of BAD and GOOD ideas about ebooks:

How eBooks can help or hurt libraries.
I don't know which, yet, because I don't think anyone is doing this stuff.

What ebooks can do for libraries is solve demand problems. What we need is to negotiate short-term, high-use contracts. We need 200 copies of each bestseller for 5 weeks. But I don't know any way to figure out what would be a fair cost for this.

And we should also find a way to negotiate directly with publishers so we can have more control of our ebooks. What if we told a publisher, "We'll give you access to our circulation statistics so you can figure out what to charge for your back catalog. Why? you ask. Did you know that Agatha Christie's The Murder at the Vicarage circulated 12x more than The Murder of Roger Ackroyd? Libraries have that information; you don't. If you try to price everything the same, it's not going to move nearly as well as if you price it according to demand. But with this data, you can price according to demand." Is this a GOOD or BAD idea? I have no idea.

We'll let you put ads in our ebooks. In the past, you've put ads in our print books. We, we didn't let you do it, but we didn't complain.

And to keep my promise, here are some other really BAD IDEAS that librarians have:

Hiring someone who's still in library school for a position that doesn't require a degree. Because you know that person isn't going to stay in that position for long and you're just going to have to hire and train a whole new person. I hate being put in a position where the most qualified person for the job is currently in school so she can get a better job 5-6 months down the road. Frankly, I don't want to hire her because I know I'm going to need to fill her spot so soon.

I always think it's a BAD idea to sell your the naming of your library to some rich person. Unless, as I've said before, you get $50 million for the privilege. But anything less and you're ripping off your taxpayers. Basically, you've sold out everyone in your community who pays to support the library. They're now supporting some rich dude's legacy.

And then how can you reward your local hero? You can save 100 children from a burning building and you won't get your name on that library. You could single-handledly stop an alien invasion, and no library. You could kick Donald Trump in the balls and still, no library. Although I think you might be able to negotiate a Turnpike service plaza: "Hey, ma, the Kicked Donald Trump in the Balls service plaza is coming up; can we stop and get some chicken?" (but for legal reasons, please don't kick Donald Trump in the balls.)

Boobs for Books.

Have you heard? April 12 is the first Boobs for Books event.

What? What’s Boobs for Books?
It’s a fundraising event in support of Books for Teens which focuses on raising money to get books into the hands of needy young adults. Or boobs into the hands of nerdy young adults. Whatever.

How do you get involved?
The idea is that people around the country, and maybe around the world, will sponsor a Boobs for Books fundraising event on April 12. Do you have boobs? Do you know someone with boobs? Then you can help!

Boobs come in all shapes and sizes. You might have a boob discussion group that night and ask those who attend to donate an amount of their choice to Books for Teens. Who doesn't want to talk about boobs? Celebrity boobs, whether someone has real or fake boobs, the discussion is endless. Or, you might have a happy hour at your home and raffle off a prize to attendees who flash a little skin. You could host something at a local bar or restaurant and raise funds via an uncover charge. Or, you could have a progressive party and at each participating location have a boob auction. The more boobs, the more books. We don't care how your boobs get books, but boobs have a way of making some people give up their hard-earned money and we want to take that money to buy books.

And speaking of Boobs for Books cocktails, and not Cocks for Books which is our May 9 event, why not create boob themed cocktails for your Boobs for Books event? For example, a Slippery Nipple is 1/2 oz Irish cream, 1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps.

We've got a Pinterest Board ready for your photos and recipes. Snap a picture of your specially created cocktail near your boobs and post it on the Board. Or, grab an image of the uncovered boob that inspired your recipe and post that along with the recipe. Maybe your boob-themed cocktail will be tested and tasted by those in another part of the country. Boob-tasting is one of the quickest ways to raise money for books.

Over the next several weeks you’ll hear more about Boobs for Books here on the blog, on the Books for Teens Faceboob, um, Facebook page, and on other social media outlets. Talk with your friends and colleagues about the event and get started planning what you are going to do. You don’t want to miss the first, and last, ever Boobs for Books. Because we know someone's going to jail for this.

this is fake page, but almost all of it was stolen, word for word, but with many added letter 'B's from the real page which is here, http://yalsa.ala.org/blog/2012/02/09/booze-for-books-dont-miss-it/